8 thoughts on “Modesty… Our Role as Parents

  1. You just described what I sensed for years and only recently have begun to articulate to family and friends. Mass or church service is the most important event of the week. Our dress should reflect this. Now I simply need to be a father and lay down the law. Of course the clothes we recently purchased from you make it a little easier! THANKS. By the way, my son seems to dress reasonably well. What’s up with the girls?

  2. Yes, I believe whole heartedly in what Marisa is saying here. I see myself in several of her comments. How many times have I taken all the time in the world to dress for an event but not given proper consideration to my church attire. My clothing would be considered appropriate for church but not given the proper consideration.

    It is true that the general church going population doesn’t dress appropriately these days. Forty years ago as a child, I couldn’t get out of the car in the parking lot in improper attire without getting looked at up and down by other parishoners. My mother saw to it that all four of her children were dressed appropriately for mass.

    Let’s keep the discussion going…..and get some approriate clothing options out there.

  3. Fathers have the responsibility to set modesty standards for their daughters because they know how men can look at women. My children always dress nice for Sunday and Holy Days and always modestly. We have rules, including dresses/skirts must be below the knee when sitting. You should start young. I remember a relative buying a nice dress for my five-year-old that was above the knee (when sitting) everyone was curious as to how I would respond. I knew that if I said OK, that would be setting my “real” standard. I said “no go.” My daughter then said, “Why does it matter? I’m just a little girl.” I explained that it was easier to train a little girl than a teenager, and I knew that that question was not originally hers. Now she is a teenager and believes in modest dress. Dads, if you don’t have modesty standards in your homes YOU ARE NOT DOING YOUR JOB AS A FATHER. For swimsuits we use Simply Modest. I have four girls and two boys, ages 5 through 14.

  4. As a father of four daughters I am quite aware of attire and am pleased that my oldest (11) is a modest young lady, because her three younger sisters are looking up to her. Now that I’ve found your site I’m sure I’ll be placing orders with my wife soon. God bless.

  5. The problem I fear is much bigger than the dress of our youth. There is a complete and total decline in moral values and teaching common decency and manners. Parents today are too busy working, texting or whatever to take the time and effort our parents took to teach us simple etiquette. Too many Catholics are silent, too many are going through the motions. Too many are not taking the doctrine of our faith seriously.

  6. Thanks for all the comments to date. To respond to a couple of questions – Regarding boys – I believe the boys in the limelight make their mark by focusing on how many or which girls they “conquer”. Wgereas the girls in the limelight use their bodies to make their impression. Unfortunately this is what our kids see and are tempted to think is “cool”.
    Regarding the “bigger problem”, I believe it’s like anything else in life, the more effort and time one puts into something – be it a job or relationship or a project, the more positive results one sees. Same goes for our families and values etc – but we cannot give up. We can be the change by starting with our own families and praying for God’s help. Keep this topic in the forefront and things will change.

  7. I’m glad to hear a recurring theme in the posts above… start setting parental expectations for decency early. I don’t have any kids but a group of parents and I help the Youth Ministry Director at our church in leading high school kids under 18 (yes, they ARE still kids!) who are preparing for Confirmation in play & pray sessions weekly. I often remind the kids that no one wakes up on their 18th birthday with a halo around their head that suddenly gives them the ability to cast a ballot with intelligence and good judgement. Nor do they go to bed as goof-offs the night before the high school graduation ceremony and awake up as all-knowing Einsteins the next morning.

    Likewise, no child who is allowed to persistently follow the deplorable example in conduct, language and appearance set by so-called pop culture role models will wake up one morning and suddenly find him/herself ready to fit into a generally civilized workforce or ready to set a good example as a parent.

    I think the word “decline” in this blog topic reflects the (dare I say it…) “inability” of some parents to become appropriate role models overnight for their kids, who are then unable to be appropriate role models … you get my drift. “Do as I say, not as I do” has never really worked anywhere. Mind you, I’m not suggesting that kids never be allowed to try what “everyone else” is doing. Doing so merely represses a naturally rebellious instinct in teenagers. On the contrary, let them try being like “everyone else,” but make sure you are always a step behind them, pointing out the disapproving looks, the subtle distancing or cold shoulder from others who are respected for their good judgement and conduct. As humans, and especially as teenagers, we tend to seek only positive feedback for our actions and filter out and ignore the rest. It is the parent’s responsibility to be that persistent laser pointer to the negative aspects of trying to be like everyone else with poor judgement and let the kid come to a self-conclusion (and develop good judgement) of what is appropriate and what is not, then present them with the decent alternative choice.

    It is a tremendous responsibility on the parent’s shoulders, no doubt, but well worth the effort — for the kids’ sake. And humanity’s.

  8. I heard your message on Sonrisemorning show and was amazed that there are not more people that are
    doing this sort of thing. Here in Ma. I am amazed at even what 3 and 4 year olds are wearing and imagine them at 13 and 15. I do not have young children, but will refer others to your site. I wonder if you have thought of designing for preteens. I pray that you will have success in your venture. Thank you and God Bless. Rosemary

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